When I was younger, I used to believe that if I expect for the opposite, the right thing would happen. As I grew older, I thought that was rather stupid. I learned hard to do things systematically and logically. Seeing things happen accordingly, I was greatly convinced that if you just get things ready with all details checked, results would come correctly. But of course, because results are simply the outcome of an input. I became more expecting, strict and very mechanical. I enjoyed seeing results according to what I have prepared for. I felt good of myself being functional and productive. On the other hand, I became more disappointed of others when I cannot meet expectations from them. I became less trusting, in some cases, demanding. I turned out being perfectionist. I felt unfair in many situations when I did my part very meticulously so as to avoid mistakes but I still end up failing, not because I did not work hard, but because the other party did not exert the same effort as I did. This, led me from one disappointment to another. Later, I found my found my life becoming a one big complaint. I continued criticizing, complaining and hating I have drawn myself too far that I stopped seeing reasons to be happy. Until such time when I realized I am becoming the victim of my own set of expectations. Probably it was time to reboot my system.
Rebooting cannot be difficult if you have a good source of energy and hope. (",) I'm talking about my ever supportive and loving husband. He always has been more optimistic than me, there were times when he gets pissed too but it passes like an ocean's wave. It breaks and it calms down. With him, I learned to listen and open my doors and windows wider so I would see things working on larger picture. Accept possibilities, expect the worse at times, allow mistakes to happen.
In other words, expect the unexpected for you are not handling things on your own.
No comments:
Post a Comment