What actually happened ...

I didn't really mean to be impolite by taking long breaks without leaving some words. Sometimes things happen so fast and intensively.

Few incidents after my last post: 

Two of our family's cats got sick. They had to be brought to the veterinary twice a day for injections. It was some kind of virus.

Mom in law got sick, sis in law followed then father in law. All those times they were all sick including cats, someone had to come and help them. We ( Hubs & I) did. They all had very high temperature, a flu. 

We tried very hard to protect ourselves from getting infected. We could not afford to be sick. Work was intensive those times. Plus we received a job offer from another institution. It was good, we had to consider it.

People got well but cats hadn't. Their condition had got worse. Vet visits continued. Until one day, Lily, the oldest cat (13yo) who was Cosme's (my fave cat who passed away last year) mother died. It was a heartbreaking moment. She almost couldn't move anymore but she crawled to parents room and died there. Parents were there to give her a bit of comfort, I couldn't look. 

We had an appointment to meet with the institution to discuss matters about the job offer. We had to leave just few minutes after Lily died. 

We met and we were offered a job cooperation on our conditions. It's not everyday you're getting an offer like that. It was a very good consolation after we've discovered very unpleasant truths at our current work. 

Remember I mentioned about the new management? Apparently, it is not just the management but the owners. The previous management owned the company, later they decided to sell the company without deliberately informing us, by us I mean Hubs & I plus 2 more important people at work. They wanted to sell it with us. Like a farm together with its animals. Sigh. I just realized that I  still get pretty mad when I analyze the whole thing. That was just plain wrong! We had good relationships (I thought so). We treated them fairly. We worked honestly. We respected them! Agghhh only if you knew the whole story! But nevermind, I  don't want to talk more about them because I will need like forever to tell you everything. Those people are crap, let's not spend time talking about them. The chapter of them in my life is closed. 

So, back to cats. Few days later, Jessica (Lily's daughter, Cosme's sister) wasn't getting any better. The vet suggested to put her down. There was a little hope for her to get well but there isn't any assurance of how long will she live. The cat was simply sick. 

We were consulting with the family whether to put her down or wait a little bit more. It was unbearable to see her suffering but none of us could speak out a decision. The vet was just waiting for a ring from us. 

Simultaneously the institution which offered us a job was ringing me. They were expecting our final decision whether to go for the offer. They needed a reply because the first project we'd be participating in was  in few days. We made up our mind about taking it but we haven't set our conditions yet. Too many things at once in very little time. Two decisions to make with diverse emotions.

Anyway, the family decided to put Jessica down. It wasn't fair to let her suffer.

We took the job offer and started working with them. That's why I was offline longer than I thought I would. We finished 2 projects with them out of the city. I was just talking about wanting to go somewhere. There I had it - two times! Maybe what I felt was in fact a premonition that it was about to happen. And now I'm  even going farther. I'll be travelling next week, well not for a long time but for few days.

I'll do my best to cope with my absence. I promise to visit your blogs these days. Thank you for the patience.

Unwanted cloud

I mean it! 

Remember sometimes I rant about someone at work who kinda pisses me off? Well, she's  gone! :) Nobody fired her - "she fired herself" as one of my colleagues would say. She had to go anyway... for personal reasons. Whatever her reasons are, I  think it's  high time she left really. One colleague already stopped talking to her since few months ago. And it's  not healthy if you work in one roof and not communicate at all. Others are just rolling their eyes whenever they hear something about her. And I was just very very patient. China taught me much about patience up to that level that can be compared to M. Gandhi  (I'm exaggerating of course). Now that she's  gone, I can be assured (unless someone else starts doing the same) that no one will impose unsolicited advice, try to change what I  have already logically & successfully established, complicate things for everyone, tell the general director things she isn't even sure of that can ruin somebody else's reputation and other things she does to others which I may not even know about.

It just feels good that you know there'll be no or at least less unpleasant surprises.

Changes

So changes happened at work and more changes will happen in life.

First day at work was as I imagined. I was met with 1 grumpy, pissed, 1 sleepy, 2 absent-minded, 1 smiling, 1 unsure faces. The rest aren't back yet. I went on with my plan and didn't really mind them much. The talk with the new director happened only last Friday. We had 3 choices to opt for and we agreed on the 2nd. That was fine!

Option 1:
productivity: high
probable stress: relatively high
practicality: moderately-highly beneficial
professional satisfaction: moderate - high
personal satisfaction: moderate
stability: low - moderate

Option 2:
productivity: moderate - high
probable stress: moderate
practicality: moderately-highly beneficial
professional satisfaction: moderate (with open possibility)
personal satisfaction: high
stability: low - moderate (with open possibility)

Option 3: was a compromise - neither of us wanted it.

I think I'm satisfied with my choice and I'm happy that the new management opted for it too. The most important is that I've got an open possibility to change things for the better in case something don't turn out well. Practically speaking, the condition is fair plus I'm not losing much. In fact I can make it more beneficial which will all depend on how proactive I  would be. I got the "wheels" and I have to drive it smartly. Professionally speaking, again it all depends on my plans & actions.

Initially, those changes were forced by consequences and it was upsetting but I didn't  want to linger in it. I decided to find "the silver lining". They say that "there is always a silver lining in every cloud". I found it and I'm just about to make use of it.

I can't really say that now is my time to shine. I was already shining before just that it cost me my physical & emotional health. So I gradually turned myself off.

So now, with the choice I made, I  have to act to turn these changes into the most beneficial direction. I am working at my workplace but at the same time I'm free. I choose my tasks, I work as I please, I do what I want! As long as it doesn't hurt the company I can do whatever I want. I'll work 3x a week on the schedule I have chosen. 2 days I'm on my own will: freelance or leisure - it's  all up to me. 

The rest is yet to be determined as all these will only begin in September...soon!

I am ready for change and I  keep in mind that it should only be better change. 

Back2Work Blues

There's such thing as "Going back to Work Blues". 

I honestly have nothing against going back to work. I like working because I Love what I am doing.

But any work does not solely evolve in what you love doing. It involves people; colleagues, clients and bosses who oftentimes are the reason why work becomes stressful.

What worries me about going back to work is that I don't even know what to expect. The old management left without even saying anything. How's that?! 

I am  not afraid of change because change opens a new door to better beginnings. The thing is, what might happen is the opposite of  what I'm  hoping for. 

I do not dislike my colleagues. I don't feel that they dislike me either. But we just have nothing much in common to talk about. It has nothing to do with race or nationality nor cultural difference. We just happen to be not the same kind of people.  We have different perception on things, ways/style & attitude towards work & life.

In fact I do not prefer to be left alone working. I like lively chats & laughter at work like I used to have several years ago. I don't  mean gossip and rumours. Just a breaktime chitty-chat on trivial things, sometimes a little goofing around can make the whole work place exciting.

I wish I could say this!

Seriously, I  wish so.

It is so demotivating when I come on Mondays with all smiles and positive vives only to be met with grumpy, pissed faces. Ask me what reasons they have? I don't  know!!! It's just Monday, what is the big deal? I usually have many things to accomplish on Mondays but I don't despise it. It only gives me a productive day and I like the feeling of having accomplished many things at the end of the day. The thing is I like working but many of them don't.  I'm not bragging or being a hypocrite here. Like I said I just really like my work.

But look, I can't  be drowning in these thoughts. I can't go out on a Monday morning, first day of work with such a demotivated attitude. I have to choose how I want my first day to be like. If bummers and downers be around, screw them. It's their problem that I'm happy. I am because I simply am and it is not my problem that they don't know how. 

Now let me express it again in a more delightful way.

Tomorrow determines my whole year (or more) at this workplace. I'm gonna have to discuss with the new director matters concerning my work responsibilities, position, time & financial matters. I tried before leaving for my holiday but she wasn't  ready. I hope this time she is. I'll have to make sure I'm happy with my schedule which is at the same time fair for them. I've cleaned up my desk, sorted out files before vacation so tomorrow I can deal with new plans for this year. Now I think I'm ready!

Nah, I  have been much happier before but at least I'm not sad to go back this time.

If you hear about this holiday, don't forget to count me  alright? :)

Let me leave with these beautiful quotes before I leave you for few days as I adjust with my new schedule. I'll be back soon and tell you good news (crossing my fingers to it).

Wish me Luck!

May you have a great week too!!! 

It's Good to be Back

Good August dear friends! It feels good to be back. Today, finally I'm having vacation from work so I've got time for everything :)

If I explain what happened with me, it won't inspire anybody's day for sure. But I'd still want to ask apologies for the very long absence. I haven't been around and haven't visited any of your blogs for more than two months.

There was another whirlwind in my life. How exciting eh? I just cannot stop having them. I'm sarcastic, by the way.

Lemme at least give at least give you a peek on what had happened. I owe you that.

Last time I was here, I was in an unstable state whether to leave or stay. Well, I stayed and staying for sometime. We managed to have all my necessary documents done with such a tremendous stress, magnanimous difficulty and heartbreaking aftershock! I'm not going to go into details but if we meet (who knows) I can narrate ... if that time, it still matters.

Comes next is settling. The "moving out & in", new place, old place stuff and all sorts took all my time and strength while at the same time, it was the busiest time at work.

For a few weeks you got settled, thought that finally you can relax, have sometime for yourself. Then boom! A call of an emergency! I hate receiving very unpleasant surprises. Honestly, it was the very first day I've had coffee in bed because I could afford to spend the whole morning without doing and thinking about any work (at least I thought so). It was the first free day I've got after all those hectic activities. It was an emergency! The need to call an ambulance, the panic, the fear, confusion, anger... altogether. How I hate the smell of "medicine" you know that particular smell which tells you it's coming from a doctor's stuff. It was a family member whom we had to help.

Now things are slowly going stable and calm. Like I said, I am finally having a vacation. :)

The city is busy lately for the World Water Sports Championship. There are many things going on around. I'll be posting some to show you what we're up to here.

For the meantime, let me make up my long absence.

And thanks for not deleting me :)

Worryfreak...not!

And I thought that I'll have more spare time this week. It didn't  happen and it isn't happening. There is no problem, just lots of work to do.

I have already minimized my working days this year but I  still feel that I 'm working much. I'm not lazy, the problem in fact is that I can't  relax. Even if I'm home on weekends, I still tend to drag thoughts from work and sometimes start working. Sometimes I  want experience not doing & thinking about anything. I don't know if that's possible. I keep thinking of what has to be done. I hate myself for being like this. There was a time when I  feel that if I don't  worry, something's gonna go wrong. I thought I 've passed it, I  found myself one day not worrying before falling to sleep. But it seems to be coming back. I'm  on this state again. I don't like it, it's  draining. Last night I went to bed physically very tired but mind is anxious. I forced myself to sleep hoping that I 'd feel different when I wake up. Well, I  woke up very early thinking about yesterday. There were unaccomplished things yesterday and I  can't  stand leaving one day before I can attend to them. I want them done coz there are others which are already scheduled for next week. Everything has its own time.  Whew! I think I should be relaxing really, it's Sunday.

At least blogging gives me a lil break.

So how are you guys? Excuse me if I  don't often see your updates. I'll visit from time to time.

Some people I cannot Define

Is it difficult to apologize? If not from the heart at least socially? I refuse to believe that people intentionally doesn't apologize unless they really wanted to offend you. Or am I  that stupid to always believe that people should be polite. I am not naive, I 've met enough people in my life; people of different ages, people from different walks of life starting from priests to prisoners to rape victims, politicians, judge & lawyers, actors, models, artists, junk collector, grave digger, businessmen, prostitute, doctors, etc.; people from different countries, and when I say different, I  don't  mean 2 or 3, I  mean that many. I didn't  merely saw them of heard about them. I have spent sometime with these people, talked with them 'bout life & stuff. I hanged out with some of them repeatedly. I understand that people are different and alike at the same time.  They could be good or bad or both.

But what I am just trying to understand at this moment is why some people hold 2 diplomas, attain higher education work in supposedly cultural & academic place CANNOT simply behave correctly. Again, I refuse to believe that she's bad, I  do not want to say she's  stupid. I reserve that word to someone who really is dumb.

It started yesterday. I was in one of the rooms, changing my shoes before going home. In winter we do change shoes from outdoor to indoor and vice versa. Since my outdoor shoes are winter boots, It's taking a little time. She came in with 2 other people whom I don't  know.  I was at the middle of putting on thicker socks on one foot, I  was surprised but they weren't,  well, the other 2 are just following. I asked if they could give me a minute, she uttered ok but didn't even took a step back to the door or something. She continued, drag 2 chairs for her guests and sat. It was actually very embarrassing but I  swallowed it. My feet doesn't smell in case you're wondering, my socks didn't have holes. It was pink and "hello kitty" :). Whatever, anyway, I  think that was rather very inconsiderate.

The next thing today. It wasn't my working day but I  went coz I was expecting to meet 2 girls. whom they have talked to beforehand. So I  was there, waiting and waiting until it was time. I asked her whether the girls called and said something about today. She said they're not coming. And I  asked why didn't she tell me in the first place, I  could have just stayed home or gone home earlier. And she became very defensive pointing fingers to the girl who wasn't picking up the phone etc, etc. I was not even angry, I  was calmly and nicely asking her to explain and telling her what could have been done better so no one wastes time. It was clearly her fault and she didn't even apologize. She didn't value my time and she didn't care that she made a mistake.

Remember I mentioned in my previous post that some people, once they've figure out that you're kind and nice, they tend to abuse you ...coz they think you're weak & they can play their game being the "stronger" one. Believe me, she's  very tame and obedient to others at work because they are very arrogant towards her. I am not & never will be. I can play arrogant and bossy when I  am ready for the situation. But then I  need to rehearse for that. I can "act" quite well...but at the "backstage", I think a lot about it. In fact, I  was playing this role for sometime towards her. It was fine. Less contact, the better. I played unapproachable and she bought it, she didn't dare having any interactions with me. But lately, I was becoming more & more jolly and friendly. I always was, just that sometimes I  have to pretend pissed and angry. Wow, what a job, I  just realize that right this very moment.

Why do some people cannot behave right when they are treated well and fair? Why do they listen more to those who treat them like sh*t. (I am not exaggerating, I have seen it happen). The most interesting thing is, those who are very arrogant towards them are very respectful towards me so when they complain about those people, I can't sympathize with them for those people were never rude to me. I do not want to pretend bitchy, bossy or arrogant all the time for the sake of efficiency. I am not a saint but I simply don't  feel comfortable acting the way I do. It isn't me. Why can I not be Me at all times? Why do I have to break the values my parents invested in me just to receive what I  deserve? I don't want to change. But I  cannot  change others either. Dealing with people could be a difficult task...but that's  my job.

Now the thing is, the big boss asked me, (note, the big boss asks me, never tells nor demands, she's  really ok) if I  can hold a staff meeting like we used to a year ago. She said that she feels the we need it coz the employees are tending to be more and more aloof from each other, that she sees no cooperation and everybody seem just be on their own. It was more of a consultation coz she was asking me for a better solution. I said I  will try. She thanked me. But for few days already I've been thinking about it. The fact is, if I don't  feel like doing it, I  can refuse. There'll be no bad consequence to me. I will not be fired, don't  worry :). I am rather concerned whether I would like to do it or not. I have lost the will doing it at the end of last year, that is why I  stopped it. There is so much thing to be taught and learned...most specifically with attitude. I cannot change it. I understand the boss's dream. It is hers so she wants it best. But the more I  integrate, the more I am realizing that some things are simply impossible to change, besides me NOT wanting to change it. I don't  know, I  haven't  made a decision yet.

Snowy Autumn

First snow has fallen today.

I came out from work quite pleased. People weren't difficult today. There was no unpleasant interaction, neither with the clients nor with colleagues. They seemed to be calm and relaxed.

It was me who wasn't in the best shape today. I was already feeling dizzy on the way to work. The temperature was only -2. I bade farewell to my favorite autumn clothes and wore my winter clothes the first time in October today. Once again I felt how much time it takes to dress up in winter, how heavy it is to walk with layers of clothes. I have to keep some chocolate in my bag all the time in this season for it saves me from dizzines and throwing up when cold attacks.

I was quiet at work, was productive and satisfied. As I have said everybody was calm. Only if everyday is like today. :)

Maybe it's because of snow. I've noticed that last week was difficult. People seem to be anxious, I was impatient and intolerant. It maybe has something to do with the weather. Like it supposed to be cold but it's still not. I associate it with the feeling when it's hot and it's likely to rain but it simply wont fall. It is so uneasy. The same thing happens here. I've already noticed that 2 years ago during my first full season experience here. It was even more obvious to me then because everything was new and different. People usually behave either aggressively or apathetically during these transition periods between seasons.

Today it's "officially" winter. Very early winter but it is already winter. Season has settled, so do people. Now it's going to be quiet and calm  like a bear preparing to hibernate.

P.S.
I saw this poster about Monday from a friends fb wall today. I like this version much more than other popular quotes about "manic Mondays".

I hope you had a good Monday; a good start too. ☺

Those who impose on others

What if one tries to impose herself on you? What would you do?

We don't know each other well. She's new. We never had a chitchat yet. It was just her second week in the company.

She came up to me one day, showing me some papers and saying that I could use them, they're fun and that my clients might like them. I looked at them, she asked me if I had used them before. I said Yes. She continued with the other paper and asked again trying to explain what they are about. I said okay. She left them on my table.

I haven't intended to use them because I have already used one of them long time ago. The other one isn't really my thing plus I thought that it might fit other groups instead, not mine.

I didn't refuse nor did I promise to use them.

Two days later, I asked a staff to make copies of some materials to be handed to my group that day. She came back with a thick pile of stapled papers. I thought that she just made me a thousand copy more than I needed. But as I was distributing the copies, I've discovered those papers which were left on my table. The papers which the new staff was trying to "suggest" to me. What were they doing there? I do not know.

Oh I guess I actually know. The new G probably told the other G to make copies of those papers on my table and hand them to me together with the copies I asked for.

I was in a pleasant mood that day, I didn't freak out (I never do in public), my blood didn't raise to its boiling point. I just calmly separated them from my papers and left them in the room.

My point is: Why do some people insist on what they want and what they think is right without even thinking what others thoughts are. It is clear to me that she has decided to impose herself on me. I do care about things like this a lot! I don't like when others tell me what to do or makes decisions for me. If I didn't use those papers she gave me, it's because I had reasons. I don't just forget to do things. I do things according to plan and with a conscious intention. And in the first place, who gave her the right to do that? It isn't a part of her job for sure! Funny thing is, it is actually MY job to find and choose materials the rest of us in the company should use. Hers is to entertain clients and assist key players if needed. That's it - as simple as ABC. I don't understand why for some people it is difficult to understand and keep their feet on the shoes they've been given to wear.

I was just thinking, is it because she just doesn't understand things much? I wouldn't say she's stupid, she does her job quite well (so far) in fact comparing to the previous ones. Does she think she can manipulate others because she's fast? Is she trying to impress somebody? Or is it just me being a difficult person? I'm not trying to be bias just because it is me who's involved here. But I believe that it is simply in no way right to impose yourself on others. To suggest is one thing but to insist is another. Suggesting is when she came showing me those papers but insisting and imposition is when she made a decision to make copies of her materials ans send them to my room - so I'll have no choice but use them? That is mean! Did she really think I'd just fall for that?

If I'm kind and nice, it doesn't mean I'm stupid.

Work Preparations

So I finally got my schedule. It barely changed. Same campus, same classes as I have heard, almost the same timetable just that instead of  having a Friday half-day, I'm gonna have whole day Monday. I actually wouldn't mind if it would be in the North Campus or at West or even at the New Campus, I'm sure I'll have enough time to eat and prepare myself before going back for the afternoon class. The thing is I'm at this other campus which is farther than all these other three campuses and that means I have to rush lunch to be able to get there on time.

Before going to the meeting today, I tried to prepare myself not to get pissed or dissapointed. I cannot complain about the time schedule for it is not hard at all, 4 week-day, 16 classes a week? It's not even a serious job comparing to what I could get from other place. I'm just not very excited of the place. Now is already a little better 'cause it's already spring. It was worse that just freezing there last winter. I made it though.

They said we'll be having the same students. I still cannot figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing. This is the first time it happened. Every semester they give us new students, most of the time I get Freshmen. This semester, everybody is holding the same students as last semester's. Hmn, what's the catch? Somebody ran out of time re-shuffling teachers and classes? Or is it just a another experiment? I don't know, we'll see. As for me... it is both good and bad. For one hand, I don't need to establish rapport to a new crowd. We know each other already, they know my style and I know their capacities and study habits more or less. so we'll just go along. Bad is, I gotta make a new plan for the whole semester. Unlike if I'll be teaching a new set of students, I just have to repeat what I did last time. Every teacher uses a different teaching style so there is no way that they will have repeated classes. Another is, the longer we are together, the more we become comfortable with each other. And the more comfort, the easier we could be ourselves. They can easily feel lazy and bored, I can get angry and get less patient as well. We might find tired of each other somewhere at the middle. Unlike again, if we are new to each other, the whole semester will be just all getting excited and building up a good relationship which later we can remember. Ugh, now I start feeling bored. Oooooops!!! I shouldn't. I cannot allow myself to be or else I'm gonna spoil the whole thing. If there'll be someone who should take it positively, it must be me FIRST. Hmn, let say I'll take this as a challenge. Gotta get rid of old stuffs of teaching which I have been using for few semesters already. Maybe it's time to revive creativity. Create new, more interesting, more lively, and more useful class. I can, but I'm not sure how far my students would go. I don't want to excite myself right now and expect from them because I know very well what outcome it could have later. Blah, whatever. I'll just try what I can and see what happens. If they seem to be cooperative then I'll go for it, if not, then buck that, I wont stress myself. I'll just provide them with what they deserve. Majority of them are boys, and no offense but i find boys much lazier than girls when it comes to studies. Imagine I got 60 of them in one class and only1-3 are girls. Isn't it a triple challenge to me?!

I was quite successful with my behavior today. I didn't get much affected. I was half expecting to receive it and half hoping not to. I got it anyway. I got myself ready for that. No more complains neither (total) acceptance ... just do it. Whatever. It always could be worse anyway. Two of the teachers who were there with me last semester are having the same schedules as mine. So I guess we'll be seeing each other more than often. There's another one whom I know and it'll be his first time in that campus. We'll welcome him to in the block(lol). None of us complained and none of us liked it but we're doing it. Go with the flow for there is always something good. At least I'm not gonna have English corners. I got full load of 16 hours so they can't give me any additional. And I am free those days I wished I was ",) Not bad.

So I guess i'm all set. Ready to start come Monday.

4 minutes to the south gate

sometimes i do stupid things :)))

i usually don't like doing things unprepared. like for example, if i have a class at 8, i wake up 5:45 for a long preparation. well in my case i got to 'cause it takes me 45 minutes to the campus by school bus. so, i wake up not willingly of course. wash up, make coffee, sometimes eat breakfast but normally i don't. ahh not enough time and also i don't have very good appetite in the morning. (when did i ever have?) usually i finish around 15 mins before i need to get to the bus stop. but i don't know why it seems to me that time is always not enough? i always have few minutes left to the bus stop. i had to run and make it as fast as i can. there's only one bus in the morning that goes to that campus so if i miss it, i would either cancel classes or take a taxi which i will not be very happy of doing. it's such a hassle to explain to the driver where exactly is the place.

so last monday, i had exactly 4 minutes to get to the south gate where the bus stops. i ran, almost feel on the stairs, ran heavily bringing all my winter gadgets. the boots, scarf, winter jacket, gloves, beanie and my school bag. it was difficult to breath that i have to breathe through my mouth inhaling all the cold breeze.

i got there just in the nick of time. the bus was approaching few meters away. i was not even able to say hi to the other teachers waiting there. i was catching breath. i managed to wave and that's all. my throat got so thirsty so i drank my water from the bottle which was apparently cold. i hopped in the bus sat, and got sweaty. sweaty and hot and cold. weird. my sweat dried up with the cold. oh by the way, there was no heater in the bus.

the bus got to school, i went straight to my class which was also cold. they aid they're gonna turn on heaters in december. that monday was 31st so i was hoping that the following day it'll be warmer. it was cold that i did not even remove my beanie in the class. i had to take off gloves though 'cause i needed to write on the board. i finished the first class feeling cold, stayed in the corridor during break. went to my second class still feeling cold. there was a class activity that day so at least we were a little bit more active in class which made our bloods continue running probably.

classes over at 15 before 12. i went to the bus and felt even colder. no heater. i just tried to resist it until i get to the downtown where i was meeting my bf to have lunch. we had lunch and didn't stay longer for the temperature that day wasn't very pleasant. i got home feeling really weak. my muscles were sore and chest was heavy. i can barely move my legs.

i don't know, maybe it was because i was running like crazy in the morning that i got a bad cold.

running to the bus stop happens to me quite often. i always say i wouldn't anymore 'cause it doesn't feel good but it keeps on happening still. ugh stupit me. i gotta do something about it really.

He Made Girls Cry

This boy made the girls cry in the class today.

I have this activity in class in which students must bring some pictures which they find special, amusing, unusual or something that is dear to them. It's one way to practice their spoken English, and another way to build their confidence. They rarely have chances to speak one by one in front of the big class especially speaking a foreign language. Most of them get very nervous. But in the end they feel much better having accomplished something.

This boy, when it was his turn to speak didn't have any picture on his hands. He stepped up to the platform and took something from the inside pocket of his jacket. It was the picture. The class laughed. I didn't react. I thought he was just trying to be cool and funny. He was prepared and spontaneously narrated about the picture he was presenting. He introduced people in the picture. They were his father who was 27 years old then, his mother who was 26 and him when he was 3. He asked the class to pay attention at the hands of his parents. "They're dry and don't look good", he said. It is because of their hard work being fishermen", he continued. He said that it is the only picture he has with his mother because she always refuse to take pictures for she thinks she's very ugly. "But for me, he uttered, "she's always lovely". And his father for him is a handsome man. There were some writings on the wall in the picture. He said those are sentences his mom used to read for him until he learns how to read them himself. He said they never neglected him, took care of him and pour him out with reminders that he should make a good future. They'd always tell him to study hard so he can have a good job which will give him a better life. From the story of his childhood, "you maybe think it's joyful", he said. "But it is actually sad because my mother died, she drowned". "Now it's only my father and me but we try to live our lives taking care of each other, keeping my mother's memory in our hearts". "I study hard because I want her to be happy for me". "Now I have a mobile phone, as well as a digital camera but I cannot make a picture of her or of us together for she is gone". "That is why I treasure this one and only picture, I always bring this wherever I go because I want my mom to be close to me and watch over me from there" (pointing up). "And teacher, if I may please ask you, allow me not to post this picture on the board because I never leave this picture anywhere I always put it close to my heart for only this way we can be together". Looking at me, I nodded and he slid the picture back to the inside pocket of his jacket then went back to his seat very quietly.

That's the most I can remember from his story.

A LOUD APPLAUSE was given to him by the whole class. I was speechless for a moment too. I didn't expect anything like this. I waited till the applause was over and still I couldn't say anything. I don't know what to say at that exact moment. I saw some girls wiping tears from their eyes trying to hide how they were moved they do it with smiles and soft laughs. I must admit I felt something blocking my throat too but I cannot make it obvious though or else the whole class atmosphere will be dramatic, there was already a big silence while he was narrating his story. I took a deep breath and called the name of the next student to recite.

I don't know what to feel for this boy. I don't want to feel sorry 'cause he doesn't seem to want it. He's facing it bravely and optimistically. I am happy that a young boy like him amidst life's adversaries values life and what it has left for him. I like people like that. I never pay much attention to him before. But he's never been naughty in class. This picture presentation is one of the activities I like the most. It gives me a closer chance to know my students better personally and academically.

I will have many more of these stories in my other blog. If you want to know please follow this link http://classlyn.blogspot.com . The latest activities are not yet there because they are ongoing this week and the week ahead. I'll be posting very soon. Thanks for taking part. (: