Inter-Marriage

What does it take to be internationally married?

I'd say it's a variety of excitement, thrill, challenges, learning and continues growth.

Exciting in many senses. Physical, mental, moral and cultural differences bring thrill to the relationship.

They say opposites attract. It is true, even science says so. There's nothing can be more satisfying than having someone who loves exactly the things you may not like about yourself. There's nothing can be more fulfilling than loving and being loved for being different from each other. The more differences you find, the fonder you become towards each other.

In some situations you would find yourselves arguing about something insignificant for the mere fact that you've learned it both in different ways. Sometimes you'd emotionally disagree on things which triggers the moral standards you've grown with. There are instances in which you wished yours is what is his and vice-versa. In some cases you'd even end up debating on some political and social issues which concerns least about you and him together but you continue doing because you think it is right to defend your ideas. But at the end of each issue, what matters is how much you learned from each other, how much respect you gained from being open, honest with your words, reactions and feelings. It matters how much tolerant and accepting you can be of each other despite of many differences. And most all, it is exciting how you find compatibility amongst all your disagreements. It is also amazing to find some commonalities between you no matter how far and disconnected you countries and families are from each other. All of those, I believe are just stages on molding you husband and wife as one great partner.

Like any other relationships, it's always not all about thrills and excitements. Ours is full of challenges too. Aside from normal life's difficulties we got a bonus and it's a big one! It is a challenge which will take every drop of your blood for you are going to undergo a massive hemorrhoid battling to win every single document needed to be together. Yes, documentssssss I said. Bureaucracy is a twin challenge of our marriage. It was there even before we got married. So I'd rather say, it is a pre-requisite to Inter-Marriage. You hate papers, lines, payments and all the likes? Stay single and don't go anywhere except the four corners of your room and you'll be spared from those. In short, do not live at all! That is how I keep myself motivated at least. I choose to live, love and enjoy life so I must go through challenges which are laid upon my way. Before we got married, we needed lots of papers to prove that we are we and that we can be allowed to be married. After the marriage there were more, even more in fact. This time, these are papers which aim approval of both countries that we want to live/stay together. Again, it takes a lot of effort, money, time and stress. Having granted of living together in one place either mine or his country is not the end of the challenge. It is just the basic. All those documents gathered have to be renewed in one time or another. It is a continuous process of updates. It can slow down a bit but when we will have children, the process starts again, this time will be about children's documents which of course is attached to our documents.

These are but necessary evils in our lives. It is not easy to move from one place to another all the time, it is not the most comfortable feeling to fly 10 hours and more from one country to another. I cannot be the most calm when I have to go out bringing papers and money which is a matter of life to me and my husband in a city where crime threatens any individual anywhere, anyhow and anytime of the day.

How do I combat them? I take the COURAGE and PERSISTENCE. I bring with me much LOVE and SUPPORT from my husband. I PRAY, for SAFETY, GUIDANCE and PATIENCE so, no matter how difficult things would be, I will not give-up or feel hopeless and depressed.

All those, thrills and challenges bring colors to our lives. Colors does not always come in vivid, juicy and bright shades, sometimes they appear dark, pale and melancholic also. No matter what color it brings us, Life Goes On Positively! :)

--- lovelovelove---

Disclaimer:

The content of this post merely speaks about my experiences and relationship. I do not neglect the fondness and challenges of other relationships which are not Inter-Marriage. All my words here describe an Inter-Relationship alone, simply because I am in it. I do believe that in general, couples pass through the same level of experiences, just in many different ways. Everyone is created different as every relationship is too.