In Memory of Him

It has been a not very positive weeks after my last post. My Mom's Aunt passed away and 9 days later, my Grandpa did too.

I didn't know that when I mentioned at my previous post about fruits, that "chico, will always remind me of him" would sound true to true to itself. You see that tree on a red kinda concrete pot behind us in the picture? That's the chico tree I grew up with. The lawn wasn't concrete before, it was ground and there were more plants. 

This is the last photo we have. It was in 2011 when my Husband and I visited him. It was their first and apparently the last time meeting. It was a good day to remember. 

Having grown at my grannies, I have much memory of him. He's really cool. He was a navy and he retired at the same year I was born. My parents told me he  babysitted me and he was the first person to drop me when we both fell in the swing haha, that was fun to imagine. They told me I used to cry for him when he and grandma would argue. He goes to the sea every morning and I always go with him. That's everyday. But I never learned how to swim because I was so comfortable riding my life boat and him dragging it. He was serving in the church as a lay minister and everyday he'd gone to church, I'd go with him most of the times especially on  novena dawn masses before Christmas. When he ran for candidacy in the local government, I was his campaign manager haha, so to speak. I was biking the whole town giving out fliers with his name. He used to help me a lot with my homeworks and aside from that, we had lessons with his own curriculum at home. Oh man, he used to make me memorize all the president's of America and significant people in the world. Everyday there would be a short quiz in math, whew, which was the hardest. Whatever he's doing, I'm always on the watch. He would talk to me about significant happenings in the world. At a very young age, I didn't understand much but I remembered hearing USSR and nuclear. I was telling my husband about those and I really made it a point that we, altogether would meet and talk. I remember hearing those words from him but I never understood what was his personal views on those. So I was thinking, maybe now that I'm a grown up, I will :) 

It is sad that he left us already. But if that's God's will, if that's his time to take the final rest then we, the family have to let go. When my brother last visited him, he was emotional. He said he feels weak already, he feels he's old. 

When I visited, I'm soooo glad I did few weeks before he died. It was a day before I left the province. He told me he feels difficulty in breathing. He's developed pneumonia at old age. He was looking healthy and lively though. He was laughing and happily telling me that he gathered all my pictures when I was a kid, when he was pinning me ribbons when I had honors and other awards in school. He said he put them all in one album because he wanted me to have them. I never thought it was something he had prepared for leaving forever. I thought he just wanted me to bring the album when I go back to Russia. But that day, he couldn't find where he kept them. He told me to just come back and get it. I am definitely going to bring them with me to Russia. It was something he wanted me to have. I felt so sad remembering the day but I felt happy that my last memory of him was his jolly face and lively voice.

Letting go is the hardest part, people say. I realized it is, but if you knew you have done enough, when you knew you tried enough to let the person feel how much you care and love, that would make letting go much easier. 

I am thankful to God for giving me the chance to show him I cared. For waiting for me to have few more moments with my grandpa before He finally took him back. I am thankful my husband and him were able to meet still. That was important for me. I am thankful for having him in my life and I am thankful for giving him a peaceful death. He died at his own home. He was found in the morning with a rosary in his hands, not breathing anymore. I know he is in good hands now. To his loving memory, I offer my prayers.